Wisdom from the 'Ol Perfessor
"Most people my age are dead at the present time and you can look it up."
"Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or it can rain."
"The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it."
"You gotta learn that if you don't get it by midnight, chances are you ain't gonna get it, and if you do, it ain't worth it."
"You can't get into the Hall of Fame unless you limp."
"Johnny Sain don't say much, but that don't matter much, because when you're out there on the mound, you got nobody to talk to."
"Bobby Brown reminds me of a fellow who's been hitting for 12 years and fielding one."
"Jerry Lumpe looks like the best hitter in the world until you put him in the lineup."
"Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits."
"All right. Everybody line up alphabetically according to your height."
"I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks in batting practice."
"See that fella over there? He's 20 years old. In 10 years, he's got a chance to be a star. Now that fella over there, he's 20 years old, too. In 10 years he's got a chance to be 30."
"I would not admire hitting against Ryne Duren, because if he ever hit you in the head you might be in the past tense."
"They examined all of my organs. Some of them are quite remarkable. And others are not not so good. A lot of museums are bidding on them."
"I stayed up last night and watched the Republican Convention all night long. I watched all of them talk, and listened to them and seen them and I'm not interested in politics. If you watch them and listen to them you can find out why."
"You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right."
"I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three."
"They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ballgames."
"Lefthanders have more enthusiasm for life. They sleep on the wrong side of the bed and their head gets more stagnant on that side."
"The way our luck has been lately, our fellas have been getting hurt on their days off."
"I broke in with four hits and the writers promptly decided they had seen the new Ty Cobb. It took me only a few days to correct that impression."
"Oldtimers weekends and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful."
"The only thing worse than a Mets game is a Mets doubleheader."
"Good pitching will stop good hitting and vice-versa."
"We are in such a slump that even the ones that are drinkin' aren't hittin'."
"You look up and down the bench and you have to say to yourself, "Can't anybody here play this game?"
"Without losers where would winners be?"
"Once someone gave me a picture and I wrote 'Do good in school.' I looked up and the guy was 78 years old" from Paul Travis/Christie L. Howard
"There comes a time in every man's life and I've had plenty of them."
And upon Stengel's death in 1975, sportswriter Jim Murray penned the perfect eulogy:
"Well, God is certainly getting an earful tonight."
Thanks to Kevin Nelson for the quotations found in his compilation "Baseball's Greatest Quotes."
Earl's Pearls / The Mick's Quotes / Yogisms